Santa Brought A Head Cold for Christmas

The Wino tried to pretend she didn't have a head cold on Christmas Day. She popped some cold pills and cleaned the kitchen, took out the trash, made breakfast, and opened a bottle of bubbly (a Paul Zinck Cremant de Alsace if you must know). It was only while opening gifts that she gave into the reality of her illness - a reality that could be measured in the number of times she had to sneeze and the height of the soggy tissue pile that was building up next to her. She spent the next two days glued to the couch. She tried to drink a glass of wine or two but her inability to breath through her nose turned her tastebuds to toast.

The Wino hopes that you were not sick on Christmas. But in case you were, here's to being sick during the holidays!

Cheers!

Brandied Peaches

The Wino is health conscious. She likes to eat fruit. Fruit is healthy—all filled with vitamins, fiber, and crap like that. It will come as no surprise to you, fellow boozers, that The Wino especially likes fruit cured in booze.

The Wino's Brandied Peaches
4 Cups Brandy
2 Cups Sugar
2-4 lbs fresh, slightly under-ripe peaches (or however many it takes to fill three, one-quart canning jars), pitted and sliced into eighths.

Dissolve the sugar in the brandy (stir prudently boozers!). Lightly pack jars with peach slices. Pour brandy-sugar mixture into jars until peach slices are just covered. If you are feeling super-awesome, The Wino suggests adding a slice of lemon to each jar for a hint of cheery brightness. (That's right, The Wino said, "cheery brightness." Deal with it.) Let the peaches macerate for 6 weeks in the refrigerator.

Serving Suggestions: If one is not drinking wine, The Wino would like to encourage her obsessed readers to try a brandied peach in a Manhattan cocktail instead of the usual maraschino cherry. In summer, add 1/2 cup peach brandy to two bottles Pino Grigio wine with 12 halved and pitted Bing cherries, one sliced peach, one sliced lemon, and one sliced orange for simply the best sangria ever (serve over lots of ice and garnish with mint). Or, serve the brandied peaches over vanilla cake and top with whipped cream.

This recipe is best executed while drinking a few glasses of El Chaparral, De Vega Sindoa, Old Vine Garnacha.

Cheers!

P.S. And if you are wondering where The Wino came up with this brilliant recipe, she is willing to admit that she modified it from one she read for brandied cherries on the Sauveur.com Web site.

A Confession

The Wino spent the better part of July in Greece. She roamed the streets of Athens, explored the cliffs of Santorini, swam in the Agean Sea, got lost in Mykonos, and ate the best food that she can ever remember.

To her shame, she drank very little wine. She tried, really. At least three times. And at least three times her efforts were rewarded with a wicked, wicked, wicked hangover. Fellow boozers, trust The Wino, exploring the Acropolis with hangover is not a pretty adventure.

It's true, The Wino should have attempted drink a higher quality of Greek wine. She should not have drunk so much of the "house" wine (i.e., the cheap stuff) - e-hem - in one sitting. But it was hot. Terribly hot. So swirling, sniffing, and sipping just wasn't at the top of her priority list when it came to any beverage in Greece. Any liquid she got her hands on she guzzled. That's right fellow boozers, large, greedy, unladylike gulps. Needless to say, that manner of drinking didn't lend itself to wine tasting or wine drinking in general.

In short, The Wino stuck with beer while she was in Greece. Lots and lots of cold beer. Her favorite was Alfa. An icy mug of Alfa is especially nice served with a plate of salty black olives....and even nicer if consumed on a hot Greek island.

Boozers, you are asked, once again, to judge The Wino's un-Wino like behavior for yourselves.

Cheers!

The Wino's Champagne Cake

It's simple, fellow boozers: The Wino loves booze. The Wino loves cake. The Wino loves to make cakes with booze.

Today, she will share her recipe for her Champagne Cake with her boozy readers. The Wino's Champagne Cake is a divine, boozy cake. It's dense and tender like a pound cake, with an intense butter and vanilla sweetness that is balanced by rich floral and yeasty champagne flavors. It is also an impressive cake to behold, with three, fat 9-inch layers and mounds of white champagne-flavored butter cream frosting.

The Wino had her first slice of champagne cake at the Kingfish Cafe in Seattle in 2002. Or was it 2003? In any case, it changed her life. Well, maybe not her entire life, but it most definitely changed her life as it related to cake. The Kingfish version of champagne cake was pure, delicious insanity. Layers and layers of white, moist, faintly boozy tasting cake slathered with gorgeous fluffy frosting that had hint of butterscotch flavor. As you may know, the size of the cake slices at the Kingfish are truly obscene. Regardless of the gargantuan size, which is far too much for any single person to consume, The Wino could not stop shoving bite after bite of that delicious champagne cake into her mouth. Her stomach hurt, but it did not matter. All that mattered was the cake and eating as much of it as possible.

Obsessed with the cake from the Kingfish (she suspects it was laced with crack), The Wino set out to find a recipe so she could make it herself. It wasn't easy. Getting the recipe from the Kingfish was out of the question. Shortly after The Wino had her first decadent slice, The chef who made the champagne cake died and took the recipe into the afterlife with her (or so the Wino heard). The Kingfish subsequently stopped including champagne cake on their desert menu. Talk about tragic!

From there, she scoured the Web. Unfortunately, many of the recipes she found involved dyeing the cake pink and serving it with marshmallows or pineapple, or both. And several recipes suggested a boxed cake mix combined with champagne. Yeah, The Wino wasn't having any of that nonsense.

Eventually, using a combination of several recipes, she came up with her own version. It is a simple recipe in terms of ingredients. However, the quantity of batter is huge, so be prepared. But an impressive cake both in flavor and in size is what makes this cake so amazing. Fellow boozers, assuming your friends aren't cake haters, The Wino promises they will be utterly wowed. Not only will you have produced a spectacularly tall layer cake, you will have combined the magical food known as "cake" with champagne, which is arguably one of the most lovely beverages on the planet. The combination, boozers, is sheer genius. Sheer genius! The recipe follows:

The Wino's Champagne Cake

- 5 1/2 cups flour
- 6 tsp baking powder
- 2 tsp salt
- 1 and 1/3 cups butter
- 3 cups sugar
- 12 egg whites
- 1 and 1/2 cup champagne or sparkling wine (an inexpensive but tasty sparkling wine or cava, such as Segura Viudas, will do nicely). You will need one bottle total to cover the cake, the frosting, and the glasses you will drink while baking the cake. The Wino does not recommend going upscale with your bubbly. The finer flavors of expensive sparklers won't be discernible.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. Butter and flour three round nine inch cake pans
3. Using an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar together until white and fluffy
4. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt.
5. Add flour mixture to butter and sugar mixture alternately with champagne until incorporated. Batter will be very thick and stiff.
6. Separate egg yolks from the egg whites. Discard the yolks. In a clean bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form.
7. Fold the beaten egg whites into the batter, in thirds.
8. Divide batter between the prepared cake pans and smooth the tops.
9. Bake for 25 - 30 minutes. Layers are done when knife inserted into center comes out clean or with a moist crumb or two.
10. Let cake layers cool for 15 minutes. Carefully remove from pans and let cool completely on a wire rack.
11. Sprinkle 1 - 4 tablespoons of champagne over the top of each layer and let it soak in. (Many thanks to Alexis, one of the purse wine ladies, for this suggestion.)

For the Frosting:

- 10 cups powdered Sugar
- 1/2 cup of butter
- 2 tsp of vanilla
- 1/2 - 3/4 cup of champagne
- Fresh Strawberries for garnishing the top of the cake (optional; recommended only if strawberries are in season)

1. Beat butter with an electric mixer until smooth
2. Add powdered sugar and champagne alternately; adjust quantities as needed. You want a spreadable consistency that is a bit on the stiff side so you have a little support for the layers.
3. Beat in vanilla
4. Divide frosting in to thirds with one of the "thirds" slightly larger than the other two. Reserve the larger portion for the top of the cake.
5. Lay the bottom layer on a plate of cake stand and frost the top. Lay the second layer on top of the first and frost the top. Put the third and final layer on top and frost only the top, piling on the remaining frosting. The Wino frosts this cake in a "rustique," fashion, piling the frosting on top of the layers but not frosting the sides. In The Wino's opinion, it has a shabby chic effect that conveys a sense of decadent abandonment. It's also a heck of a lot easier and faster than frosting the sides of the cake in a way that doesn't look like a 5 year old did it. (Come on, it's not like The Wino is a pastry chef!)
6. Garnish top of cake with strawberries (optional)
7. Serve with a glass of Champagne (optional)

There you have it, fellow boozers. A magnificent booze cake.

Enjoy!

A Whole Week Off

The Wino has a week off. A whole week. She has a whole week off because she found a new job (FINALLY!). How she found a new job and resigned from her old, hideous, demoralizing one is a whole post in itself and The Wino will get to it another day. But at this moment, she is contemplating the next week where she will be, in effect, unemployed. Blissfully unemployed for a whole week. That's 7 whole days, or 168 whole hours. Whatever will she do with all that time? The possibilities are as endless as they are daunting. While she mulls over the myriad ways in which she can fill her time, she is sipping a glass of her current favorite cheap wine: Vin-Koru, East Coast Classic Dry White Wine 2008, New Zealand (available at Trader Joes).

Fellow boozers, cheap, delicious wine makes the world go 'round. And since The Wino has not had a New York book editor contact her and ask her to write a book because her blog is so super awesome (yes, The Wino is referring to the infinitely and annoyingly blessed Molly Wizenberg), she drinks moderately priced and cheap bottles of wine, saving the more expensive bottles for special occasions. Thank goodness there are many wonderful, inexpensive wines out there.

Cheers!

Motivation

The Wino is trying to muster some motivation as the clock ticks away on a spring Saturday. Too much wine and too little sleep have left her without an ounce of motivation and a whole lot of guilt for not tackling her never-ending to-do list. Too much laundry. Too much yard work. Too much vacuuming. Too many people to call. Too much on her mind. The clock is still ticking, mercilessly. It’s almost 11 and she’s still in her pajamas. The day is bleeding out.

Impromptu Pairing PASS

It's been a busy month. Not much time for The Wino to write. But, fellow boozers, The Wino has definitely been doing her part when it comes to drinking wine. So, there's no need to worry that she's given up alcohol. In fact, this very afternoon she had a glass of Nobilo Sauvignon Blanc with her tuna and crackers. She did not intend to drink any wine with her lunch, but she chopped up green olives and some crispy blanched green beans in her tuna, and then added a tiny bit of champagne vinegar to the classic mayo and mustard dressing. The tangy, salty combination just plain called for a glass of Sauvignon Blanc. And, she just happened to have an open bottle in the fridge, which made the impromptu pairing all the more convenient. Imagine that!

Prudent boozers, it was not fancy or high brow, but it was delicious.

Cheers!

Wine Pairing FAIL

Maybe it was because The Wino and her friend North were hungry when they started tasting wine at Esquin on Saturday afternoon. Maybe it was because before they went wine tasting, they stopped for a couple of glasses of Rose at 106 Pine. Or maybe North was lacking protein. Well, whatever it was, every wine they tasted that afternoon resulted in a drooling conversation about food. “This would be so good with roasted lamb crusted in rock salt and herbs. This would be so good with a rare fillet mignon. This wine would be good with ravioli and a rich ragout.” When, after nine or so other wines, they finally started tasting the DiStefano Suavignon Blanc, there was simply no question. The sweet and herbal wine with the teeny-tiniest bit of oak would be a perfect match for pasta with prosciutto and arugula. The Wino and North (who is one of the legendary Purse Wine ladies and also a very fine cook) laid out a plan for gathering the ingredients and making dinner at the Wino’s house that very evening. It all seemed so brilliant, so effortless, and so perfect.

But The Wino and North couldn’t have been more wrong.

The DiStefano wine is primarily a Sauvignon Blanc blended with a little bit of Semillion. On it’s own, it's richer and sweeter than a traditional sauv blanc in The Wino’s novice opinion, but solid on some of the traditional floral and citrus flavors.

Pairing the DiStefano and the pasta’s salty prosciutto and nutty parmesan produced a strong alcohol flavor that overpowered pretty much everything. Within minutes, the ladies were enjoying the pasta but choking on the wine, which didn’t fit in with their fabulous vision of food and wine pairing nirvana. After a few bites it seemed ridiculous to keep forcing down the wine with the pasta. Especially since the wine was delicious on its own. North immediately suggested that they switch to a much less expensive and distinguished Glass Mountain Chardonnay. It was astounding how much better the chardonnay went with the pasta. It wasn’t a perfect pairing by any means, but it was an infinite an improvement over the DiStefano.

Fellow boozers, The Wino learned that sometimes what seems like the perfect wine-food paring can be anything but. It can be a complete and utter failure.

So The Wino will pick herself up, dust herself off, and repeat the old W.C. Fields quote: “If at first your don’t succeed try, try again” as a mantra. (And, thankfully, if it involves wine, The Wino will have no trouble trying and trying and trying again.)

Cheers!

Still Insanely Jealous

So she met Molly Wizenberg at her book signing at University Bookstore today. The Wino was late. But not so late that she missed the enchanted tale of how a book editor from New York “found” Molly Wizenberg’s blog and then how Jesus, Mary, Barack Obama, and all the angels opened up the sky started singing and throwing sunbeams, piles of money, and flowers at her. And P-ZAM, the next thing she knew, she was giving talks at book signings for her New York Times bestseller.

Yes, The Wino lined up to meet Molly Wizenberg with throngs of other stultified, grasping women who don’t actually give rat’s ass about A Homemade Life, but were there only to wring out how Ms. My-life-seems-perfect-and-I’m-so-articulate-and-interesting got her book published, and, maybe if they got close enough to her, they could get their books published too. But the joke was on them. As The Wino mentioned in the previous paragraph, Molly Wizenberg was pretty much “discovered” as if by magic.

When it was The Wino’s turn to have her copy of A Homemade Life signed, all she could mutter to Ms. Wizenberg was, “You have been an inspiration to me. Thank you,” as if she was thanking Tony Robbins at one of his motivational seminars. The Wino doesn’t remember what Molly Wizenberg said in return, she only remembers the awkward silence that followed.

The Wino knows what her dear mother would say about all of this. “Don’t worry honey, her blessings are in this life. Your blessings will be in heaven.” Yup, The Wino's mother is chock full of such gems of wisdom. And now you know why The Wino drinks.

She will now sign off and go wallow in bitter, jealous misery.

Cheers.

P.S. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, Molly Wizenberg is indeed thin.

The Wino's Nose Does not Know

The Wino was certain she’d be a star in the Survey of Wine class she took with her husband a few years ago. After all, she prides herself on her sensitive nose. I mean, The Wino can smell cat pee from 100 feet away and season a pot of stew by simply smelling it. And she was sure that she would have an innate ability to pick out different flavors and scents in wine and that it was going to be her ticket out of her dead end job and set her on the path to fame and fortune in the wine industry. At last, she would be really good at something useful instead of something obscure and vaguely disturbing, such as being able to put her entire fist into her mouth. (Don’t ask.)

So there she was, nose deep in a glass of wine surrounded by other eager wine novices, swirling, smelling, and tasting her little heart out. But while the other students said they smelled chocolate, stone fruit, vanilla, pencil shavings, leather, and blah, blah, blah, all The Wino could smell was, well, wine (and raisins). All the wines smelled different of course, but The Wino could not pinpoint a single scent or flavor. Not one. (Well, except the raisins, but you can’t say you smell “raisins” in a wine class. You will be laughed at. The Wino promises.)

Her dream, while short-lived, was shattered like a cheap Ikea wine glass at keg party.

But The Wino liked to drink and she still liked wine, so she just started drinking the stuff. Lots of it. All different kinds. And she started reading about it. Snippets, really. A wine newsletter here, a blog there, and a barrel of Wikipedia articles. If she liked Viognier, she would find out what flavors she should be tasting. If she liked Zinfandel, she would find out what scents accompany the average Zinfandel. Some of it stuck. Some of it didn’t.

Then one day, she tasted grapefruit. Big, fat, juicy grapefruit. Boozers, it was the very best day. The Wino was sipping a glass of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc at the Dahlia Lounge with her dear husband and she tasted grapefruit!

So for a whole summer she drank bottles and bottles of different Sauvignon Blancs, tasting the citrus, vegetal, and herbal flavors. (She’s still working on identifying the supposedly present nose of freshly mown grass.) And now she’s pretty good at describing a Sauvignon Blanc’s nose and flavor profile when she has a glass. Other varieties still throw her for a loop. She’s still learning.

Apparently, it's not just The Wino who has struggled with developing a wine nose. The popular Wine Wench blogger, Freda Mooncotch, had a similar inability to identify scents and tastes when she first started drinking wine. When asked to describe what she tasted, she couldn’t. “I couldn’t smell or taste anything. For a long time, I even thought they infused fruit into wine to get those smells.” In her recent, very validating article, Mooncotch describes this experience and provides tips for building a mental wine tasting database of your own.

So it may take a long time to develop your wine nose, fellow boozers. And it looks like it's going to be years before The Wino develops hers. In the meantime, she will have to fall back on her ability to put her whole fist in her mouth as her one talent. But at least she usually has to drink wine in order to be persuaded to do it. So really, they’re kind of related and totally support each other, right?

Judge for yourselves, prudent boozers. Judge for yourselves.

Make Me a Margarita

Here’s a gadget that will make wine snobs role their eyes and margarita purists cringe. Jimmy Buffet has capitalized on the popularity of his song “Margaritaville” and has come out with a line of margarita makers. Now, you too can be wasted away in Margaritaville at the touch of a button. Choose from three classy Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker models: Key West, Fiji, and Bahamas all of which "shave and blend the perfect Ritas, Daiquiris, Slides, and Smoothies". (What on earth is a slide?) And for the more adventurous who might need to take the party off road, there’s a cordless model called the Margaritaville Explorer.

As a wine novice, The Wino is in absolutely no position to judge, but she finds this “concoction maker” to be a tiny bit horrifying (and a little fascinating, too) but she’s keeping an open mind because she never knows when she will end up at a tailgate party faced with a fishbowl-sized margarita glass filled with “rita” made from one of Mr. Buffet’s blenders. If that happens fellow boozers, The Wino is just going to have to buckle down and drink it. All of it.

Cheers!

With a Little Help from the Purse Wine Ladies

The Wino knows you’ve been dying to find out what wine to serve with Bouchons a Thon, a recipe from Molly Wizenberg’s book, A Homemade Life. Please, don’t lose any more sleep fellow boozers. The Wino and her infinite wisdom are here to put your inebriated minds to rest. Not only has she paired a wine with Bouchons a Thon, she has also paired a wine with Ms. Wizenberg’s recipe for Fennel Salad with Asian Pear and Parmesan. And it gets better. She had help with her pairings from The Purse Wine Ladies who were happy to spend a Sunday afternoon (and, e-hem, evening) eating, drinking (and drinking and drinking), and talking about wine at The Wino’s dining room table. (Needless to say boozers, these ladies arrived at The Wino’s home with bottles of wine prudently stashed in their purses.)

Now, to the pairings...

Bouchons au Thon are like little custards made with mostly cheese, tuna, and eggs. While they seem a little odd to The Wino, they do not taste odd---they are rich and delicious. Blason de Bourgogne 2008 Pinot Noir is an excellent pairing for the bouchons. It's a very French recipe, so it makes sense that it would go well with a French wine. However, it does seem a little counterintuitive to pair fish with red wine based on the old rule of thumb that we all familiar with (i.e., pair white wine with white meat and fish; pair red wine with red meat). But The Wino has recently learned that tuna, like salmon, can stand up to a red. Tuna is, after all, red before you cook it. The Blason Pinot Noir’s acidity softens the intensity of the tuna, while the combination of tomato, buttery Gruyere, and fish lend this wine more depth and body than it has on its own. Boozers, you’ll find this wine at Trader Joes for about $8.

The Fennel Salad with Asian Pear and Parmesan is a great salad. It’s one of The Wino’s new favorites. It’s simple to make and the ingredients are easy to come by. (Her next door neighbors have an Asian pear tree in their yard from which she has guiltily filched fruit on more than one occasion. The Wino loves this salad so much that she's already begun plotting more acts of robbery for when the pears ripen this coming August.) For this salad, The Wino suggests a 2007 Bridgeview Blue Moon Oregon Pinot Gris. Don’t be put off by the bottle’s blue color and somewhat cakey label design, this wine tastes bright and clean when paired with the salad, bringing out the sweetness of the Asian pear and contrasting with the stronger flavors of fennel and Parmesan. On its own, the Bridgeview Pinot Gris is a little sweet for The Wino’s taste, but the freshness of the fennel cuts through the sweetness bringing an overall balance to both salad and wine. This wine can also be found at Trader Joes for a little over $10.

The Wino would like to thank The Purse Wine Ladies for their help with this pairing and enabling her obsession with Molly Wizenberg's seemingly charmed life. It was a lovely afternoon! And she also hopes that Bridgeview Winery will not be offended by The Wino's careless comment about their blue bottle design. It's fine, really. She was just looking for an excuse to use the word cakey in her post.

Cheers!

Purse Wine

If there’s one thing The Wino has learned during her exploration of the wine world, it's that your handbag should always be large enough to carry a bottle of wine. Fellow boozers, you never know when you'll need to (a) tote a bottle of wine to a dinner party, (b) sneak a bottle of wine into a movie theater, (c) enjoy a bottle of wine (or champagne) at Cal Anderson Park on a hot summer day with your best friend, or (d) replenish your empty wine glass during a First Thursday Seattle Art Walk. In these situations, The Wino thinks having the right-sized purse is not only prudent but a necessity.

This Purse Wine wisdom was passed to The Wino by some savvy ladies who began carrying wine in their purses on the Seattle Art Walk (option “d” above), which happens the first Thursday of every month here and in many other Northwest cities. These ladies like to drink wine while they look at art but don’t feel that struggling artists in more humble galleries should have to support their wine habit (not to mention, the wine served is often El Gato Negro or similar). So, they have started bringing their own wine while out browsing the galleries.

How smart is that? It’s so brilliant The Wino wishes she would have thought of it herself, and perhaps she will pretend it was all her idea in future posts. In the meantime, all the credit and accolades go to the Purse Wine Ladies.

Boozers, if you don’t have a handbag that can hold a bottle of wine, you need to go out and get one ASAP. In addition to needing room for your wine, it’s practically spring (I know, it doesn’t feel like it) so it's time to move on from your drab black purse to something lighter---maybe in a nice beige or bone. And, you will be doing your American duty by being an ardent consumer---so while you’re at it, buy a bottle of wine to go in your new handbag too.

For fellow boozers out there who feel that a purse/handbag is a little too feminine, The Wino, suggests you stop whining and invest in something more masculine to suit your taste. There are plenty of options. The most important thing is that you are able to stylishly and comfortably carry wine when you need to.

Cheers!

Prudent Boozers

As you know, The Wino frequently addresses her audience with one of the following pet names: prudent boozer, fellow boozer, or just boozer. Recently, one of The Wino’s readers left a comment about her use of “prudent boozer” suggesting it was a veiled reference to the secret society known as Prudent Boozers.

The Wino’s use of the word prudent simply means that her audience is sagacious, wise, and has good judgment when it comes to wine. Unfortunately, it has no connection to the secret alcohol moderation society whose 4 Floor Program calls for, “Savoring the 1st, sipping the 2nd, nursing the 3rd, and skipping the 4th,” in order to avoid “…embarrassing shenanigans and poisonous hangovers induced by bacchanalian excess.”

The society’s program is intriguing, however, especially its history (founded in 1878), and emphasis on moderation rather than abstinence when it comes to alcohol consumption. To paraphrase their mission, Prudent Boozers provides a method for its members to enjoy boozy beverages without making asses of themselves.

Check it out, fellow boozers. There’s even handbook. Oh, and apparently Cary Grant and JFK were Prudent Boozers.

Cheers!

Please note: The Wino is not a member of Prudent Boozers and is not suggesting that you become one. Her only intention in writing about Prudent Boozers is to provide information.

The Wino's First Pairing

Fellow boozers, are you wondering what you should drink with "Burg's Potato Salad," a recipe from Molly Wizenberg's book A Homemade Life? Such a great recipe from such a great book deserves a great wine.

The Wino recommends the wallet-friendly Pine Ridge 2008 Chenin Blanc - Viognier. This wine's tart chenin blanc balances the heavier oak flavors of the viognier, creating a fresh and sweet symmetry with the salad's potato, egg, and creamy mayonnaise (The Wino freely admits that she loves mayonnaise. Can you admit it, fellow boozer?). The fusion of salad and wine allows the freshly chopped dill in the salad's dressing to really shine.

This is a first for The Wino. She is a definitely a wine novice but she has been drinking a lot of the stuff for few years now and she decided it was high time she put on her white pants and tried her own pairing. She had some help from some especially distinguished fellow boozers at The Tiny House who have a great love of food and wine. She really appreciates their help, and really enjoys it when they invite her over for pork chops.

Boozers, if you are interested in trying a pairing of your own, The Wino suggests you follow tips from the very wise wine writer and guru Karen MacNeil. In her book, The Wine Bible, she lays out 10 common-sense pairing principles. The principle that helped The Wino select the chenin blanc - viognier for Burg's Potato Salad was, "...Match delicate to delicate, robust to robust." Also, here is a wine pairing Web site that might be useful for your pairing efforts.

Cheers!

P.S. You can get Pine Ridge 2008 Chenin Blanc - Viognier at Esquin Wine Merchants in Seattle for about $9. The Wino loves Esquin.

The Wino Is Jealous of Molly Wizenberg

Positively green with envy. So jealous she could spit. She thinks she will fall over into covetous convulsions at any moment now.

And Why is The Wino so jealous??? Because of Molly Wizenberg. Yes, the lovely Molly Wizenberg. She is the author of the super-popular food blog, Orangette, and author of the critically acclaimed book, A Homemade Life. Ms. Wizenberg is doing exactly what The Wino wishes she was doing: writing for a living. She took what she loved (cooking and eating), wrote about it, and turned it into her career.

Fellow boozers, not only has Molly Wizenberg published a book, she has a monthly column in Bon Appétit, she takes most of her well-done blog photos with a Polaroid (how cool is that?), and she has opened a restaurant with her husband called Delancy. (Actually, The Wino does not want to ever open a restaurant, but you see where she's going with this, right?)

And on top of that huge amount of accomplishment, she's disgustingly positive. Where is her cynicism? Her snarky comments? Her sharp sarcasm? Gaaaaaaagh! The woman seems genuinely happy and manages to be engaging without one bit of meanness.

What makes the jealousy sting the most? Molly Wizenberg is younger than The Wino by a few years and she, ironically, lives in the same city. She also does Pilates, so she's probably thin, too! [insert eye roll here]

The Wino really, really wants to hate Molly Wizenberg. But she can't. Her book is great. The Wino cried twice. Many of the book's recipes look delicious. The Wino was inspired.

How was The Wino inspired, you ask? Well, in many ways. Too many to list in this post. But for starters, she's going to attempt to do wine pairings for several of Molly Wizenberg's recipes and write about them in her blog. So, stay tuned, fellow boozers. Stay tuned.

Note: Ms. Wizenberg, if you ever read this, please forgive The Wino for trying to ride your coattails. She very much admires you. You have inspired her.

Cheers!

The Golden Robot

Fellow boozers, it gets worse. Not only has The Wino not consumed any wine for several days, she is happily guzzling "Golden Robots" at this very moment. You may call it a "Shanty" (actually The Wino believes a Shanty is beer and 7-Up) or a "Poor Man's Mimosa" (aka Poormosa) but The Wino calls them Golden Robots. And they are, as you may have guessed, perfect for drinking in Mexico. The recipe follows...

- 1 cold 12 oz Mexican beer, such as Corona, Pacifico, or Sol
- 2-4 tablespoons of orange juice (fresh squeezed if you have it, but no worries if you don't)

Pour beer into a large glass and add orange juice. Garnish with a lime if you must. Enjoy.

The Wino hopes you will not be pretentious about this humble beverage and give it a try. It is surprisingly good. If you can possibly have this drink in Mexico or, at the very least, on a warm day in your backyard, then it will be even better.

Cheers!

Still No Wine

In case you were wondering fellow boozers, The Wino had to drink that bottle of white wine (you know the one mentioned in her previous post) over ice cubes and garnished with a lot of star fruit slices. Yes, she knows it's shameful to put ice cubes in a glass of wine. But it was hot outside and the wine, a Mexican Fume Blanc, was too tart and needed some ice to mellow it out. And the sliced star fruit? Well, that was just sheer ingenuity, and good taste of course. The Wino turned bad wine into a tropical cocktail.

And since she finished that bottle (by herself, since her husband was doing what one should do in Mexico: drink beer), she has not had a single drop of wine. It's been days. Can The Wino even call herself The Wino anymore? Judge for yourselves, prudent boozers. Judge for yourselves.

Mexican Wine

The Wino is in Mexico. She's drinking mostly beer and rum. Last night she had a glass of Mexican wine. It was terrible. So tannic and sour, she desperately wished she could just have a nice Sol with lime. The Wino suspects that she may not be able to write much about wine in Mexico.

Will someone help the Wino understand? Why, with such a perfect climate and a focus on agriculture, does Mexico bottle such abominable wine? Granted, she has only tried a few and she is open to experiencing other Mexican wines, but she sees dollar signs when she thinks about Mexico's wine-making potential and is saddened by the lack of wine culture.

Despite the seemingly poor wine, the Wino is perfectly happy drinking chilly, lime garnished beers and margaritas rimmed with salt on the beach. She will survive this wine-free zone. ;)

UPDATE: The Wino's husband clandestinely purchased a bottle of white wine HECHO EN MEXICO! The Wino is going to have to give Mexican wine another try while she stuffs achingly fresh shrimp drenched in salty butter into her face tonight. Oh dear – how will she ever survive? Don’t worry, fellow boozers, the Wino will manage.

Cheers!

Primitivo = Zinfandel

Italian wine is terribly confusing. The Wino has been trying to read Italian Wine for Dummies for more than a year now and she is barely past Chapter 3. I mean, she likes to drink Italian wine, but ask her to make sense of an Italian wine label or understand the qualities of what makes one region's wines distinct from another? Fuhgettaboutit, fellow boozers.

One tidbit that The Wino has learned, however, is about the Italian Primitivo grape variety. Apparently, it is the genetic equivalent of Zinfandel, a red grape variety that grows all over California. Familiar with the ever popular Ravenswood Zinfandel? Of course you are. Well, if that wine was made in Italy, it would be "Primitivo" and it would be primarily grown in Italy's Puglia region also known as Italy's heel.

Now, don't let this confuse you, prudent boozers, but the origin of Primitivo is generally thought to be Croatia where it is currently called "Crljenak Kaštelanski." But we will leave that one alone for now.

So if you purchase an Italian wine that includes a high percentage of the Primitivo grape, you can expect this wine to taste much like Zinfandel, with a robust, concentrated flavor profile that can include raspberry, blackberry, chocolate, and pepper. You can also expect it to have a slightly higher alcohol content, in some cases as high as 16%.

Like wine with your pizza? Curious about Primitivo? Seattle's Tutta Bella features a Primitivo wine on their menu called Ognissole Primitivo Manduria.

Cheers.

And thanks, as usual, to Wikipedia for information about Zinfandel.

The Wino Just Watched "Bottle Shock"

What can the Wino say about the Bottle Shock? Hmmm, let's see, how about: The American spirit triumphs, the French like themselves, and wine is delicious.

Why the wino hated this movie?
Because of the stomach-churning, Hollywood-contrived love triangle between Gustavo, Sam, and Bo. Seriously fellow boozers, what did that have to do with anything? Why on earth would Sam dump Gustavo for Bo? Ick, his hair weave was sooo bad.

Why the wino liked this movie?
 Because she wants to move to Napa Valley where it's warm, grow heirloom tomatoes, and drink wine all day in her rose-filled backyard while she wears a chic pair of white pants. And she, like any other arrogant American with a gross sense of entitlement, likes a good story about how the snooty French were given a run for their money when their wines lost to Californian wines in a blind taste test. By the way, if you are French and you are reading this (doubtful), the wino does not mean to be disrespectful because she also wants to live France.

And the moral of the story is: 
Always keep an open mind when it comes to wine. Fellow boozers, if you don't like Chardonnay, always be open to the possibility that you might find one that is absolutely amazing. And even though the thought of Chinese wine is impossible to get your head around, you may end up liking it a lot. French, Australian, South African, Chinese - it doesn't matter. Stop whining and give it a try. The Wino guarantees that you will be surprised.
Cheers!

The Wino's Wine Blog Is Not Very Original

There are so many wine blogs out there. The Wino is totally intimidated. The Wino is going to have to step up her posts or come up with something MUCH more original to blog about.

The Wino thought that people would be interested in a wine blog that was from a novice's point of view. She was correct in her thinking, but unfortunately, she was not the first person to think it. And then there's the fact that wine has been kind of an afterthought in her posts lately.

Oh dear.

Malbec: The Wino's Wine of Frustration and Sadness

Fellow Boozers,

It was inevitable. As much as she tried, she could not resist having a glass of wine after work for the past two nights. Both glasses were of Malbec. One was from Nefarious Cellars and she can't remember what the other one was. Both glasses were beyond necessary for her sanity.

You see, the Wino loathes her job and can't find new one because of the stupid economy and the stupid, stupid job market. That's why she writes this not-very-good blog about wine and things not really related to wine. She needs an outlet. She needs to feel like she is doing something other than drowning in a swamp of professional humiliation and sticky despair.

The wino knows that she should be thankful that she is still employed in this abysmal job market because there are so many others out there who don't have jobs. But she has a very guilty confession to make. Sometimes when she is being despicably micromanaged and shamed at work, she wishes that her employer would just put her out of her misery and fire her - free her from this angry burden that sits on her chest like a big pot of rocks.

She dreams spending her days in a warm coffee shop writing, writing, writing while she sips cups of green tea and watches people walk by. She dreams about making her husband dinner every night (yes, The Wino has a husband - a very nice husband). She fantasizes about having enough time to go to the gym every day. She longs to work in her yard and watch things grow. She longs to have days where she feels productive and satisfied instead of frustrated to tears.

So the Wino, still managing to stick to her diet, has enjoyed a couple glasses of Malbec to sooth her angst. Malbec has long been known as one of the six grapes allowed in the blend of red Bordeaux wine [The Wino didn't know there were only 6 grapes allowed in red Bordeaux??? I guess that's why she wanted to blog about wine so she would actually learn about wine. Hmmmm, The Wino suspects that a post about Bordeaux is forthcoming.], the French plantations of Malbec are now found primarily in Cahors in the South West France region. It is increasingly celebrated as an Argentine varietal wine and is being grown around the world.

It's a dark, inky wine that is juicy and plum-like and can include the flavors of tobacco, raisin, and violet.

Cheers.

Breakup Letter

Dear Wine,

I know I should do this in person but I just can't face you right now.

As you know, I am headed to Mexico on vacation in 5 weeks and I'm going to have to wear a bikini. You know, the little purple one with string ties? Anyway, we have been seeing a lot of each other lately, and it's not that I haven't enjoyed our time together, I truly have. But the problem is that I have enjoyed our time together too much.

Basically, my muffin top has grown exponentially thanks to your deliciousness. So much, that I could barely get my jeans on this morning. You see, when you and I hang out, I lose all my willpower. And the next thing you know, I'm involved in a ménage à trois that includes not only you and me but an entire bag of Doritos. Or worse, a giant chicken fried steak smothered in buttery sausage gravy with a side of biscuits and jam. I always wake up the next day feeling cheap, bloated, and guilty.

And what was that all about on New Year's Eve? Why did you make me so sick? I spent New Year's Day barfing up the lobster bisque and beef tenderloin that you complimented so beautifully. Not to mention the headache that lasted for 2 days. WTF? Seriously, it was just too much for me. I've been so loyal to you. For crying out loud, I write a blog about you! Why do you have to cause me so much pain?

I am sorry to say it dearest Wine, but I need to break up with you. At least for a little while. It won't be for long I promise.

Remember, I will always love you.

Love,
The Wino