Wine is Not Good for Dieting

The Wino is on a diet. Unfortunately, her attempts to learn about wine have led to drinking wine. Drinking wine leads to eating slabs of triple creme brie, cheese burgers, and half gallons of chocolate ice cream. Drinking wine and eating onion rings every day leads to The Wino having difficulty in getting her pants on.

The Wino does not want to wear a mu mu. The Wino wants to look fabulous in white pants and laugh uproariously at your jokes while drinking expensive wine on a yacht in Greece. The Wino hopes you understand.

The Wino will now share a few health and fitness tidbits about wine:

• A 6 oz glass of wine contains about 150 calories.
  
• A bottle of wine contains about 25.4 oz of wine, which equals about 635 calories.
  
• The Wino will have to run for more than an hour at a 12-minute-per-mile pace to burn off 635 calories (That's right boozers, The Wino has been known to drink a bottle all by herself.)
  
• The higher the alcohol content of a wine, the higher the calorie content will be.
• The health benefits of wine are uncertain and may lead to breast cancer.

The Wino hates dieting.