Still Insanely Jealous

So she met Molly Wizenberg at her book signing at University Bookstore today. The Wino was late. But not so late that she missed the enchanted tale of how a book editor from New York “found” Molly Wizenberg’s blog and then how Jesus, Mary, Barack Obama, and all the angels opened up the sky started singing and throwing sunbeams, piles of money, and flowers at her. And P-ZAM, the next thing she knew, she was giving talks at book signings for her New York Times bestseller.

Yes, The Wino lined up to meet Molly Wizenberg with throngs of other stultified, grasping women who don’t actually give rat’s ass about A Homemade Life, but were there only to wring out how Ms. My-life-seems-perfect-and-I’m-so-articulate-and-interesting got her book published, and, maybe if they got close enough to her, they could get their books published too. But the joke was on them. As The Wino mentioned in the previous paragraph, Molly Wizenberg was pretty much “discovered” as if by magic.

When it was The Wino’s turn to have her copy of A Homemade Life signed, all she could mutter to Ms. Wizenberg was, “You have been an inspiration to me. Thank you,” as if she was thanking Tony Robbins at one of his motivational seminars. The Wino doesn’t remember what Molly Wizenberg said in return, she only remembers the awkward silence that followed.

The Wino knows what her dear mother would say about all of this. “Don’t worry honey, her blessings are in this life. Your blessings will be in heaven.” Yup, The Wino's mother is chock full of such gems of wisdom. And now you know why The Wino drinks.

She will now sign off and go wallow in bitter, jealous misery.

Cheers.

P.S. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, Molly Wizenberg is indeed thin.