The Wino Is Jealous of Molly Wizenberg

Positively green with envy. So jealous she could spit. She thinks she will fall over into covetous convulsions at any moment now.

And Why is The Wino so jealous??? Because of Molly Wizenberg. Yes, the lovely Molly Wizenberg. She is the author of the super-popular food blog, Orangette, and author of the critically acclaimed book, A Homemade Life. Ms. Wizenberg is doing exactly what The Wino wishes she was doing: writing for a living. She took what she loved (cooking and eating), wrote about it, and turned it into her career.

Fellow boozers, not only has Molly Wizenberg published a book, she has a monthly column in Bon Appétit, she takes most of her well-done blog photos with a Polaroid (how cool is that?), and she has opened a restaurant with her husband called Delancy. (Actually, The Wino does not want to ever open a restaurant, but you see where she's going with this, right?)

And on top of that huge amount of accomplishment, she's disgustingly positive. Where is her cynicism? Her snarky comments? Her sharp sarcasm? Gaaaaaaagh! The woman seems genuinely happy and manages to be engaging without one bit of meanness.

What makes the jealousy sting the most? Molly Wizenberg is younger than The Wino by a few years and she, ironically, lives in the same city. She also does Pilates, so she's probably thin, too! [insert eye roll here]

The Wino really, really wants to hate Molly Wizenberg. But she can't. Her book is great. The Wino cried twice. Many of the book's recipes look delicious. The Wino was inspired.

How was The Wino inspired, you ask? Well, in many ways. Too many to list in this post. But for starters, she's going to attempt to do wine pairings for several of Molly Wizenberg's recipes and write about them in her blog. So, stay tuned, fellow boozers. Stay tuned.

Note: Ms. Wizenberg, if you ever read this, please forgive The Wino for trying to ride your coattails. She very much admires you. You have inspired her.

Cheers!

The Golden Robot

Fellow boozers, it gets worse. Not only has The Wino not consumed any wine for several days, she is happily guzzling "Golden Robots" at this very moment. You may call it a "Shanty" (actually The Wino believes a Shanty is beer and 7-Up) or a "Poor Man's Mimosa" (aka Poormosa) but The Wino calls them Golden Robots. And they are, as you may have guessed, perfect for drinking in Mexico. The recipe follows...

- 1 cold 12 oz Mexican beer, such as Corona, Pacifico, or Sol
- 2-4 tablespoons of orange juice (fresh squeezed if you have it, but no worries if you don't)

Pour beer into a large glass and add orange juice. Garnish with a lime if you must. Enjoy.

The Wino hopes you will not be pretentious about this humble beverage and give it a try. It is surprisingly good. If you can possibly have this drink in Mexico or, at the very least, on a warm day in your backyard, then it will be even better.

Cheers!

Still No Wine

In case you were wondering fellow boozers, The Wino had to drink that bottle of white wine (you know the one mentioned in her previous post) over ice cubes and garnished with a lot of star fruit slices. Yes, she knows it's shameful to put ice cubes in a glass of wine. But it was hot outside and the wine, a Mexican Fume Blanc, was too tart and needed some ice to mellow it out. And the sliced star fruit? Well, that was just sheer ingenuity, and good taste of course. The Wino turned bad wine into a tropical cocktail.

And since she finished that bottle (by herself, since her husband was doing what one should do in Mexico: drink beer), she has not had a single drop of wine. It's been days. Can The Wino even call herself The Wino anymore? Judge for yourselves, prudent boozers. Judge for yourselves.

Mexican Wine

The Wino is in Mexico. She's drinking mostly beer and rum. Last night she had a glass of Mexican wine. It was terrible. So tannic and sour, she desperately wished she could just have a nice Sol with lime. The Wino suspects that she may not be able to write much about wine in Mexico.

Will someone help the Wino understand? Why, with such a perfect climate and a focus on agriculture, does Mexico bottle such abominable wine? Granted, she has only tried a few and she is open to experiencing other Mexican wines, but she sees dollar signs when she thinks about Mexico's wine-making potential and is saddened by the lack of wine culture.

Despite the seemingly poor wine, the Wino is perfectly happy drinking chilly, lime garnished beers and margaritas rimmed with salt on the beach. She will survive this wine-free zone. ;)

UPDATE: The Wino's husband clandestinely purchased a bottle of white wine HECHO EN MEXICO! The Wino is going to have to give Mexican wine another try while she stuffs achingly fresh shrimp drenched in salty butter into her face tonight. Oh dear – how will she ever survive? Don’t worry, fellow boozers, the Wino will manage.

Cheers!