Thank You!

The Wino would like to give credit where credit is due. And today, ALL the credit goes to Lowes! The Wino, at this very moment, is raising her glass, which is filled with Domaine Des Lauribert Vin De Pays De Vaucluse, to Lowes Home Improvement.

Thank you, Lowes, for being so responsive to The Wino's phone call inquiring about whether or not you carried a specific item. Thank you for paying your employees so well that they are willing to tell a potential customer anything in order to get them to come to your store. Even if it means that the customer will leave frustrated because the item you reassured them you had, you don't actually have.

Thank you for the excellent employee training, which enabled the employee answering the phone to act as if they knew exactly what The Wino was talking about when she called to inquire whether you actually carried said item. And thanks for double checking (putting The Wino on hold for 15 minutes) to see if you actually had the non-existant item in stock so The Wino would not have to needlessly visit your store if you didn't have it. Thanks.

It was especially awesome how your reassurance, after repeated, suspicious questioning from The Wino, convinced her to make a trip to your painfully depressing store. Thanks. It was also nice how you told her what asile the item she was looking for was located. That was sooooo helpful.

It was even more helpful how, when the item The Wino was looking for, was unlocatable, you made her wait to speak with four, yes four different "home-improvement specialists," before you actually admitted that you were full of shit when your said you had an item you don't actually have.

And thanks for making a home improvement project that should have taken 1.5 hours into a 6 hour job that still isn't complete. Mmmm, thanks! It was best.

Yes, Lowes, thank you for inspiring The Wino to actually write in her blog, which she should do more often.

Cheers!