The Wino Is Jealous of Molly Wizenberg

Positively green with envy. So jealous she could spit. She thinks she will fall over into covetous convulsions at any moment now.

And Why is The Wino so jealous??? Because of Molly Wizenberg. Yes, the lovely Molly Wizenberg. She is the author of the super-popular food blog, Orangette, and author of the critically acclaimed book, A Homemade Life. Ms. Wizenberg is doing exactly what The Wino wishes she was doing: writing for a living. She took what she loved (cooking and eating), wrote about it, and turned it into her career.

Fellow boozers, not only has Molly Wizenberg published a book, she has a monthly column in Bon Appétit, she takes most of her well-done blog photos with a Polaroid (how cool is that?), and she has opened a restaurant with her husband called Delancy. (Actually, The Wino does not want to ever open a restaurant, but you see where she's going with this, right?)

And on top of that huge amount of accomplishment, she's disgustingly positive. Where is her cynicism? Her snarky comments? Her sharp sarcasm? Gaaaaaaagh! The woman seems genuinely happy and manages to be engaging without one bit of meanness.

What makes the jealousy sting the most? Molly Wizenberg is younger than The Wino by a few years and she, ironically, lives in the same city. She also does Pilates, so she's probably thin, too! [insert eye roll here]

The Wino really, really wants to hate Molly Wizenberg. But she can't. Her book is great. The Wino cried twice. Many of the book's recipes look delicious. The Wino was inspired.

How was The Wino inspired, you ask? Well, in many ways. Too many to list in this post. But for starters, she's going to attempt to do wine pairings for several of Molly Wizenberg's recipes and write about them in her blog. So, stay tuned, fellow boozers. Stay tuned.

Note: Ms. Wizenberg, if you ever read this, please forgive The Wino for trying to ride your coattails. She very much admires you. You have inspired her.

Cheers!

The Golden Robot

Fellow boozers, it gets worse. Not only has The Wino not consumed any wine for several days, she is happily guzzling "Golden Robots" at this very moment. You may call it a "Shanty" (actually The Wino believes a Shanty is beer and 7-Up) or a "Poor Man's Mimosa" (aka Poormosa) but The Wino calls them Golden Robots. And they are, as you may have guessed, perfect for drinking in Mexico. The recipe follows...

- 1 cold 12 oz Mexican beer, such as Corona, Pacifico, or Sol
- 2-4 tablespoons of orange juice (fresh squeezed if you have it, but no worries if you don't)

Pour beer into a large glass and add orange juice. Garnish with a lime if you must. Enjoy.

The Wino hopes you will not be pretentious about this humble beverage and give it a try. It is surprisingly good. If you can possibly have this drink in Mexico or, at the very least, on a warm day in your backyard, then it will be even better.

Cheers!

Still No Wine

In case you were wondering fellow boozers, The Wino had to drink that bottle of white wine (you know the one mentioned in her previous post) over ice cubes and garnished with a lot of star fruit slices. Yes, she knows it's shameful to put ice cubes in a glass of wine. But it was hot outside and the wine, a Mexican Fume Blanc, was too tart and needed some ice to mellow it out. And the sliced star fruit? Well, that was just sheer ingenuity, and good taste of course. The Wino turned bad wine into a tropical cocktail.

And since she finished that bottle (by herself, since her husband was doing what one should do in Mexico: drink beer), she has not had a single drop of wine. It's been days. Can The Wino even call herself The Wino anymore? Judge for yourselves, prudent boozers. Judge for yourselves.

Mexican Wine

The Wino is in Mexico. She's drinking mostly beer and rum. Last night she had a glass of Mexican wine. It was terrible. So tannic and sour, she desperately wished she could just have a nice Sol with lime. The Wino suspects that she may not be able to write much about wine in Mexico.

Will someone help the Wino understand? Why, with such a perfect climate and a focus on agriculture, does Mexico bottle such abominable wine? Granted, she has only tried a few and she is open to experiencing other Mexican wines, but she sees dollar signs when she thinks about Mexico's wine-making potential and is saddened by the lack of wine culture.

Despite the seemingly poor wine, the Wino is perfectly happy drinking chilly, lime garnished beers and margaritas rimmed with salt on the beach. She will survive this wine-free zone. ;)

UPDATE: The Wino's husband clandestinely purchased a bottle of white wine HECHO EN MEXICO! The Wino is going to have to give Mexican wine another try while she stuffs achingly fresh shrimp drenched in salty butter into her face tonight. Oh dear – how will she ever survive? Don’t worry, fellow boozers, the Wino will manage.

Cheers!

Primitivo = Zinfandel

Italian wine is terribly confusing. The Wino has been trying to read Italian Wine for Dummies for more than a year now and she is barely past Chapter 3. I mean, she likes to drink Italian wine, but ask her to make sense of an Italian wine label or understand the qualities of what makes one region's wines distinct from another? Fuhgettaboutit, fellow boozers.

One tidbit that The Wino has learned, however, is about the Italian Primitivo grape variety. Apparently, it is the genetic equivalent of Zinfandel, a red grape variety that grows all over California. Familiar with the ever popular Ravenswood Zinfandel? Of course you are. Well, if that wine was made in Italy, it would be "Primitivo" and it would be primarily grown in Italy's Puglia region also known as Italy's heel.

Now, don't let this confuse you, prudent boozers, but the origin of Primitivo is generally thought to be Croatia where it is currently called "Crljenak Kaštelanski." But we will leave that one alone for now.

So if you purchase an Italian wine that includes a high percentage of the Primitivo grape, you can expect this wine to taste much like Zinfandel, with a robust, concentrated flavor profile that can include raspberry, blackberry, chocolate, and pepper. You can also expect it to have a slightly higher alcohol content, in some cases as high as 16%.

Like wine with your pizza? Curious about Primitivo? Seattle's Tutta Bella features a Primitivo wine on their menu called Ognissole Primitivo Manduria.

Cheers.

And thanks, as usual, to Wikipedia for information about Zinfandel.

The Wino Just Watched "Bottle Shock"

What can the Wino say about the Bottle Shock? Hmmm, let's see, how about: The American spirit triumphs, the French like themselves, and wine is delicious.

Why the wino hated this movie?
Because of the stomach-churning, Hollywood-contrived love triangle between Gustavo, Sam, and Bo. Seriously fellow boozers, what did that have to do with anything? Why on earth would Sam dump Gustavo for Bo? Ick, his hair weave was sooo bad.

Why the wino liked this movie?
 Because she wants to move to Napa Valley where it's warm, grow heirloom tomatoes, and drink wine all day in her rose-filled backyard while she wears a chic pair of white pants. And she, like any other arrogant American with a gross sense of entitlement, likes a good story about how the snooty French were given a run for their money when their wines lost to Californian wines in a blind taste test. By the way, if you are French and you are reading this (doubtful), the wino does not mean to be disrespectful because she also wants to live France.

And the moral of the story is: 
Always keep an open mind when it comes to wine. Fellow boozers, if you don't like Chardonnay, always be open to the possibility that you might find one that is absolutely amazing. And even though the thought of Chinese wine is impossible to get your head around, you may end up liking it a lot. French, Australian, South African, Chinese - it doesn't matter. Stop whining and give it a try. The Wino guarantees that you will be surprised.
Cheers!

The Wino's Wine Blog Is Not Very Original

There are so many wine blogs out there. The Wino is totally intimidated. The Wino is going to have to step up her posts or come up with something MUCH more original to blog about.

The Wino thought that people would be interested in a wine blog that was from a novice's point of view. She was correct in her thinking, but unfortunately, she was not the first person to think it. And then there's the fact that wine has been kind of an afterthought in her posts lately.

Oh dear.